i feel so empty, the things that you don’t let grind you down have ground me down and all i can do is bring it to attention of ? doctors dont work on Weekends, even then, what are they supposed to do? It’s like they’re overpaid Samaritans, if they did believe us they wouldn’t do anything about it, they dont help ‘cos Its “Not Real”
or is it like…man, this mental ‘Health’…health? an outraged alien outta Tau Prime calmly shows us what’s what, before getting so angry that ‘it’ began to get voices like ”’dont shoot the lume then”’
recently i have been experiencing experiencinces that have links to my so callled life…in the past, the causal event being immediate, with the outcome occuring in the past, sometimes 20, 25 years ago. Time is weird, maybe memories are used to Time Travel…quite why it already happened in my rubbish life…its like there was so much pain unexplained, events that retained so much energy that actually it/they meshed with the time line, the future causing activity, things must be important because they got altered from. What it’s got to do with me I Don’t Know. Every Day i am presented with images that have been apparent in Dreams in the past, im like “dream” and the voice goes “do you remember”? and im like…remembering a dream, whats the meaning? i guess our dreams can be manipulated by aliens and everything, the physical framework and Body that exists outside us, outside Earth, they say all dreams are experiences of the future…in which dimension we cant say, because we don’t know, but its like when you had a beautiful dream that repeats through the day and you would pay handsomely to revisit, or like a daydream in any context…its painful, too, youre going the right way foreward to exist in the past, young sir, btw congrats on the Bronze Medal, they say, but then they didn’t really mean it, it is just something that happened. Also it corresponds with Doctors of Mental faith calmly explaining that it didnt happen, oh great, yeah it did, oh but im wrong despite being the only one to know if it happened At All! Then theres the one where you have to remain calm when they say, in practice, that it…when u going thru a bad one, when u getting tortured by whatever it is that seems to need to hurt u to live, to exist At All, oh great, yeah i know. The Staff try to talk it down, its not real, but is infact “an auditory or visual hallucination” For Real. During a Time in which time you would gladly die, shows the extent of the problems that we face. well who knows, maybe we’ll be offered PRN, like (im too paranoid to tell u what i take 8)) a valium with a posh name, sometimes it really helps take the edge off, this li’l blue tablet, it was successful in meaninful way, sooooooo then they deny you tsaking any more because it is ‘Addictive’…mad cos it works, oh god do u mean it helped so you want it again? druggie! Petty! Give me a pill, witch, ill have no more of this tomfoolery, people do commit suicide when they think its not gonna get better, mental Pain…u know that theres no way of gauging mental pain? yeah ok there might be. The Hippocratic Oath some need to be reminded of, not like we’re not in pain cos u cant see it, like when my hand fell off, when…what, a lie? uhhhh….in my head internal i am getting acclaim, a prize, also got rated ‘A’ on the merit scale…how can i be mad lol i guess that things like this should be separate from ‘teachers’, no coursework or exam. Yeah this can be difficult to follow. Maybe i should take the bit about suicide out? dont worry, i wouldn’t do it even if i could, really its one of the things in mental health, it aims to keep people alive and therefore opportunities to check out are rare. ‘Health’ is opinion, sounds like Hell, Mental Hell like telepaths giving a Mental Hello if its star trek and the hardy crew visiting a new planet and they all stand around saying hi, then they get voices saying we are telepaths, we communicate mentally via thought, or whatever, betazoids maybe like Troi, so i dont know if Kirk has to inform Doctor McCoy that he is experiencing Auditory Hallucinations even if the dr was not lost in the potential of a world where he doesnt need to talk. Ohuru might be…nope the magic’s gone…Ohuru winding them up, pretending to be talking to Canines, just woofing away hour after hour, pretending to need to talk to them…”in our world, dogs are treated…”Doggy Treats! Yay!” dogs are similar 8) to be honest its all we can do not to openly sniff each others poo. ”Rory, some of us like being sniffed, some of us don’t . But that doesnt mean you can Woof at Lady Dogs, well im sure you did like her arse, this is perfectly clear.” Telepathy, you say? empathy /beta/ tetra…oh u …i treat Tetra as Thought or maybe mental activity / psychic/ advanced but potentially doesnt exist? cant i get the rub of the green just once? Surely i am a scientist…are these things discovered or created? Both? something from nothing, Rog, a miracle for sure, if not this surely some of the other shit
going for cigarette
Not Suicidal x
My Cake Tea 