Telling myself I’m not Alone

Tell myself that I’m not alone

Why would I listen though

When I’ve got me to listen to

And not you, not anyone

Must be what I wanted

Well I got it

Got it?

well I kinda did

the end of the sofa damages morale

shit is significant

shit is schizophrenic

so it’s significantly schizophrenic, certainly

but I don’t hear anyone else laughing

cry out, crysis, far cry

cant play red dead redemption 2, why?

rdrr like that

funny? I nearly laughed

fish are laughed

that is,

i don’t hear them laughing, but I see them laughing at me, at every mistake vs infinity and /or a perfect reflection of a relative reality where perfection is relative, relatively speaking. Then they say they deal only in absolutes. Well, absolutely.

then the voices start. Asking if I need help writing poetry, do I need help to watch tv. All I can thinksay, thoughtdeed, is to ‘’’think’’’, to ‘’’say’’’ is my shit could be better. Do they want me to stop? Some Government feel threatened? Like I’m not allowed to write any more. Thought police? I need thought Good Samaritans, to give me hope in my hour of need. It’s funny, in Ackright by Dr Dre it goes ‘good Samaritan save that hoe from getting smacked up’ . Oh, please, then? Some people hate Good Samaritans. They can’t ever be really cool.

for the last eleven weeks there is no record of The History of Earth. Anywhere. Nowhere in the Whole Universe. Is this because of me? Most things are. Except, this one could actually be me, distorting time lines, influencing the axis of Earth, forever altering the previously smooth passage of our Sphere through space and time.

  • my cat, Kipper, is giving me a dirty look, I reckon for picking up a pen she so enthusiastically pushed to the floor. She may as well be from whatever Agency is messing with me today. Yesterday it was the Spanish. I went to Barcelona once, so they, from Madrid, have a head start in disliking me. They already have an excuse, even a reason to do it. And indeed they did fuck me up. I get visited by intelligence from all over this world and other, new worlds, too. At least I think I do, and one should always give a schizophrenic the benefit of the doubt, unless he or she or it is one of the rare lying schizophrenics. You know what they all ‘’’say’’’ to me, the intelligence agencies? Prove it. Prove what? Prove we’re giving you voices. Prove to who? Your local MP…the police…MI5. They all say it. I mean it’s likely to be MI5 or a subsidiary of. It’s the same old argument, and the same thought processes in my troubled mind. Prove I get voices? If I could prove it…is it even proveable in the first place? Doctors I talk to believe me mostly, but sadly hold the opinion that it’s not real. Rog you are not getting tortured by governments all around the world. Aliens then? Or Aliens. If I could prove I was getting psychologically abused by distant Galaxies to my Doctor, what can she do? The satisfaction, though, would be palpable. She actually agrees with me? I’m right for the first time here. But what happens to the responsibility? Would she have a duty to try and stop Andromeda-Hating Quadrants fucking with my head cos of my relationship with our Galactic neighbour? It’s not real. Oh, right. That’s nice to know. Perhaps a small discussion between us over the nature of reality someday. But why leave it until tomorrow…let’s have lunch together. You’re married? Well then, congratulations doctor. But I didn’t ask u if you were married….yeah I know this bit is too long… but it’s tradition, is it not, for doctors to sometimes socialise with the people. Oh, and I’m not paying cos u earn over ten times as much as me. Yeah I agree that it’s all relative, when Messi gets a cool Million notes a week. He probably complains that the Barcelona President, God bless him, has far more paper even than him.

but I digress. For example, a government hires a worker whose mother was raped. The government tells him that you are a rapist, feeds him with amphetemine and whatever mind-hacking equipment that they use…he’s been primed, and you can’t get away from the traumatised youth. I hear the pay is excellent, too. Voices…I knew one girl, and she claimed that she was getting paid 150 notes per minute. Per minute! Specialist…I think people sit in meetings and discuss what voices they are going to give to me and my schizophrenic brethren the next day. What will the theme be? It’s a waste of taxpayers money, man. Yeah, from my experience….yeah I know, Ill man claims government gives him voices. Well they do. They would, too. The first thing intelligence agencies want is access to the brains of the populace, to know what people are thinking etc oh the Thought Police you say?! Hippy!

Seeya, Rog x

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Things I’m scared of

I’m scared of going to Hell. Scared of the CIA, FBI and MI5. Scared of Jesus, Satan, and the Prophet Mohammed. Scared of Wasps. Scared of God, Tau, and other Deities. Scared of making decisions and scared of responsibility. Becoming homeless, I’m scared of that, cos I can’t survive on the street. Scared of my crippling voices, confrontation, Andromeda, Aliens, losing my keys and being locked out, scared of crowds, the human voice, rejection, being forced to betray, scared of loved ones dying, scared of the shadow of my stupid nose, being tested, exams where I studied the wrong questions and just sit there staring at my blank paper, scared of pain, death, and scared of life, even. Also performing in public, scared that her partner finds out, scared stiff of work, judgement day, leaving my friends high and dry, permanence, lack of permanence, scared of eating a bacon roll in front of an advanced, sentient pig, not really knowing who I am, scared of love, wedding speeches, fainting, scared of never knowing where my home is or going back there, facing the consequences of my actions when there is no time to process information or get a second opinion, scared of being raped by a lesbian, scared of leaving my home city, my own thoughts being used against me, dying alone, Klopp leaving, scared of being boring, scared of Sunday’s, scared of forever, eternity and infinity, inadvertently causing all out intergalactic war, scared of having an extremely powerful psychic bond with someone and being forced to deny it or leave them permanently, and scared of inadvertently having sexual relations with a horse or goat.

This is a lot of stuff to be afraid of. I know. As for why I’m frightened of these things, I couldn’t really say. Well, my fear of wasps is easy, one got into my t shirt when I was a kid in primary school and stung me a dozen times. It developed into a phobia. If I see one, I freak out. Scared of fainting, sure. Fainting is common for me, and the feeling I get right before actually passing out is soooooooo bad. When it’s inevitable and the next thing you know you’re on the floor, soon to be offered water to drink.

You know what else I’m scared of? I’m scared of you.

Sun, Moon and Stars

Cardboard Sofa Filla

Pt 1 – Stars and Space

Man…as we look to the Night Sky…we have difficulty acknowledging that The Earth is in Space already. Its just another planet. But why are planets spherical? Theres no reason why planets are shaped like this. I think back to the Big Bang…man why would that happen? Before the Big Bang…whatever created our Universe would not allow its creation to die by retraction.

Why is there life anywhere? It doesn’t make sense.

In my mind I see perfect dark, and a mans finger evident, coming out of the darkness, tapping once, and creating mad life coming from the tip.

We don’t know why we are here. All we can do is guess. If they could ask God only one question, most ppl would say like “What is Life?” Or “What is the Meaning of Life?” shit like that. Life is anything that exists, I guess. And the meaning of life? Maybe it’s simply survival. An Obligation To Survive, as Hetfield sang on the Black Album. Survival By Any Means could be the meaning of Life. Or you could look in a dictionary, under L for Life, and read that. Ppl who define words are smart, man.

Fuck, we have all but killed the planet, 300 million year old insect species are going extinct and Bees are all but an Endangered Species. Without Bees humans are in big trouble. Earth is frustrating, man. There’s no plan on this Planet. It cant cope with the fucking ppl, man! Too much life is too bad and I can’t do everything. I can hear our world crying with disappointment for Mankind. They tried too much at first. Humans are basically animals in need of food and water and kill in their mind, repeatedly. We enter and exit life helpless and with little idea of what happens next. I can say i’m alive. Yeah. Go Rog, good luck with that being alive shit. But the matter that creates my body was there in the Big Bang, we all are made of the same material, going all the way back to the entering of Life itself. Scientists say its about 20 Billion Years, but it’s not. A reliable and knowledgable acquaintance assures me that it is 274.2561 Trillion Years Old.

So when Rakim Allah speaks of the Seventh Angel last coming to Earth 66 Trillion Years ago, it makes sense. How could we know how old the Universe is? Man. I bet that when we figure out the meaning, aims and scientific prowess of the Universe, if Humans manage to do it before WWIII that is, …no i’ve forgotten my point. It was nice though. A telling contribution indeed. Oh yah. If we survive to find out how old shit is, the debate will simply change to ‘Which Universe’ because there’s untold Millions or Billions of Universe Types. Universe Types?Of course Universes would have different styles, weird patterns and strange creations, unique matter types. Which Universe? Fuck.

I think that I have had a positively underwhelming effect on a nearby Galaxy. It cries always at the unfairness of it all, while a Million beautiful Suns start singing in harmony, just to cheer the weeping Star up, as it was a popular little animal indeed. Ocelot strange type

1, entrenched Defensive Ego Complex. Doesn’t rhyme an more he says. Nah fuck this it’s boring Anyone fancy a sly half?. Stars are alive, any Stars fancy a pint? How many pints would it take to extinguish a middle sized Sun? How many to make one a little tipsy? Probably more than the number of grains of sand in the Sahara Desert, but less than the weight of the Pisces Constellation, in Grams. The number of raindrops that have ever falled on Earth? Man, thats got to be a big big number. Vastly more than the number of Universes inside an Atom, potentially, theres like 76 separate spheres inside each love-me-do-me-do atoms, which need breathing space in the

collider. And it isn’t safe to do that, why would we crash atoms anyway? They feel massive pain, and they want to be loved. They need a long run up and a straight line in pipe form. As I masticate. Knowledge from Tau space. Scientists are they. Atoms wont behave if they are unhappy. They have responsibility to the Sun they were once part of. Oh and the disappearance of Saturns Rings? The rings are going home. I cannot tell you what that means. Not because of security issues, at all,but because I don’t know. Did you know that Earth (who called it ‘Earth’? Imagine the pressure of having to name our World. How do we judge what the best name is? ‘Earth’..better than ‘Soil’ but we can all come up with better names, certainly funnier names.)

The Earth had been all but forgotten by the Milky Way (‘Milky Way’!), it was kinda brushed under the interstellar carpet and left to fend for itself. Life dies here. Everything will die here, even you. The Sun too. At one point in my life I figured that, because the Sun will become dead in a couple of billion years time, there wasn’t much point in doing anything at all, let alone the homework I was trying so hard to avoid doing. Of course, my mistake was that we, as a race, could calmly re-invent a Space Ship (a ship? In Space? How Absurd!) and leave our little, meek, with its massively unpopular Saturn and vitally unobserved nearest-to-Ganymede World, leave our Solar System and hastily colonise Earth 2.0. If one thinks that we are the only life in the Universe (how absurd!) then it wont be populated and we wont be kindly but firmly asked to leave or have the interstellar equivalent of a clip round the ear and our collar ‘felt’. Many feel that putting a man on Mars is a stupid, crowd pleasing, budget-really-aggrandising thing to do. Mars itself, having been at War with Earth a few times already, would scream silently in pain and horror if it felt Human footsteps on its terrain. Oh we were at war with them? Yeah, a few countless millions of years ago. A tit-for-tat encounter in which pleasantries and playful, teasing banter turned into what Earth called a ‘Special’ War (Martians called it ‘unwanted, unnecessary…Just

Me on UFC

Yep, here we go, Party. It’s me on UFC. I made up a joke about this on twitter once. Ultimate fighting Championship. Again. Except…..man. Again? Like….who wanna see championship get his ass kicked by ultimate? Oh I’m an artist, it’s different. Differently abled? To what? Yo fat ass? More abled. More able. Very Fucking Able, Francis. Indeed. Sir.

I’m in for a bollocking here

And I didn’t even get to talk about UFC

Ah well

Rog? It’s me. Of course……no, don’t worry, our able Host, Rogerius Maximus, the Lord, is merely describing himself from a third person…or is it fourth…fifth….take the fifth, negro? No? Motherfucker.

Sergio the Panther vs Alves the kickboxer. An all Brazilian affair. Another girl announces the round with her….physical attributes. Tall, skinny, big tits. Every other girls nightmare. Don’t steal my man. Quietly. To myself. Don’t st…..please don’t steal my man. Please? Or I’ll fucking Kill you, Bitch!!!!!