Does Superman get High? Allegedly if anyone asks him if he gets high he is really evasive and says he flies around the planet, stuff like that, really every day. Night, too. He’s just a bit tired he says. And his eyes are bright red because…because he accidentally flew into Jupiter. Yeah, sure, Superman. Get as high as you want! Allegedly he laughed so loud a nearby tree got flattened. They say Superman hollowed out the tree, as due its last rites, and calmly rolled a blunt with the bark, conjuring the reefer like a magician. After he was done they say a glowing iridescent green cloud was seen floating across the city, raining purple and gold, silver and platinum. When the cloud cleared a beautiful rainbow formed, upside-down so it looked like a mile-wide smile. Fascinating Gems formed the eyes, which shined like the fire of a thousand suns. Allegedly.