I’m scared of going to Hell. Scared of the CIA, FBI and MI5. Scared of Jesus, Satan, and the Prophet Mohammed. Scared of Wasps. Scared of God, Tau, and other Deities. Scared of making decisions and scared of responsibility. Becoming homeless, I’m scared of that, cos I can’t survive on the street. Scared of my crippling voices, confrontation, Andromeda, Aliens, losing my keys and being locked out, scared of crowds, the human voice, rejection, being forced to betray, scared of loved ones dying, scared of the shadow of my stupid nose, being tested, exams where I studied the wrong questions and just sit there staring at my blank paper, scared of pain, death, and scared of life, even. Also performing in public, scared that her partner finds out, scared stiff of work, judgement day, leaving my friends high and dry, permanence, lack of permanence, scared of eating a bacon roll in front of an advanced, sentient pig, not really knowing who I am, scared of love, wedding speeches, fainting, scared of never knowing where my home is or going back there, facing the consequences of my actions when there is no time to process information or get a second opinion, scared of being raped by a lesbian, scared of leaving my home city, my own thoughts being used against me, dying alone, Klopp leaving, scared of being boring, scared of Sunday’s, scared of forever, eternity and infinity, inadvertently causing all out intergalactic war, scared of having an extremely powerful psychic bond with someone and being forced to deny it or leave them permanently, and scared of inadvertently having sexual relations with a horse or goat.
This is a lot of stuff to be afraid of. I know. As for why I’m frightened of these things, I couldn’t really say. Well, my fear of wasps is easy, one got into my t shirt when I was a kid in primary school and stung me a dozen times. It developed into a phobia. If I see one, I freak out. Scared of fainting, sure. Fainting is common for me, and the feeling I get right before actually passing out is soooooooo bad. When it’s inevitable and the next thing you know you’re on the floor, soon to be offered water to drink.
You know what else I’m scared of? I’m scared of you.