My Cake Tea

Yes, greetings to you. Thanks for reading this, reader.

That’s me, Rog. You may call me Don, John, Rog, MCXP, Roger F, Roggy, Big Rog, The Master… (actually Sony came up with a range to replace Bravia. Sony Master. (happy with my LG though…maybe for the PS5 ill get a new 8K Master…God willing)) , Rodriguez, Rogerio Francescoli (Miss), or, or course, Roger.

So what’s new? I’m playing Football Manager 2019, but as most of my friends know, there’s little new in that. On FM2019 Mobile I was Liverpool, my Team in Reality (oh no…reality lol) but it was getting easy. On the Full version (oh, thanks, Watford!) I’m playing as Roma. It’s going ok. A challenge. Less of a challenge maybe when I get Gabriel Batistuta at Christmas. How? How, you say? Easy. D/L ’em  from the forums. Ronaldo, Pele, Lizerazu, Van Basten, Kluivert, Davids, Socrates, Eusebio even. Eusebio! Oh that reminds me, I should write an Encyclopaedia, like The Mary Whitehouse Experience Encyclopedia. Anyone who wants to contribute, get in touch. Cool.

Kipper, my Kitten, is thriving. Aww Rog with a Kitten, I know. She wakes me up each morning far earlier than normal…should I be resentful? How can a man resent a Kitten?

……aaaaand I’m back. After the mighty BBC B I got an Atari ST. All my friends had one, too. My favourite ST memory is the legendary Speedball 2. A violent futuristic ball game with mad power ups and money to collect during the game. After a while, as often happens, I was unbeatable. Think it was by Birmingham- Based Bullfrog. As was Populous, it’s sequel Powermonger. You can play Speedball now, it’s called Speedball Arena.

There were other classics on my ST. For example, Outrun. Bombing around in a Ferrari Testarossa. I played it so much I…yeah I had a lonely childhood…I can hear the music, too.

Oh yeah! Commander Keen! My sister was so good at this she would beat the game without losing a life. Like me playing Xenon 2. Again, a quality game. I memorised  the stages and would win without losing life. The original Xenon was cool, too.

I mentioned Populous, yeah. A….how can one describe it? War game, the player is God, and it gets progressively harder for…get this…999 levels. Ordering minions around and that kind of thing. I wonder if anyone on Earth has finished it.

Wolfenstein 3D. From id software who later produced Doom and Quake. The genius of head programmer John Carmack is obvious. Amongst the first 3D games, you got to shoot Nazis, plunder their gold, and also shoot dogs. As a friend said once, it’s a great feeling, shooting a Nazi from wayyyyyy down a corridor, the filth exclaiming a cry of “mean lieben” as he dies.

More to come

R

ah! Hello! I figured eventually that many people on blogs talk about their day. So here we go. Well, leTs start with my dreams. I was selling homegrown out of the car park in a Project I lived in for a few years. I was happy doing this. I smoked a lot of weed, in a dream. And it had an effect, too! Free weed! Yay! Then I phoned a musician who must remain nameless, in a studio constructed over the course of many dreams. I got a cool Graf to look at. The main theme was Jewish Rastafarianism. I was ciphering with the coolest guy ever, but chill, there’s many like him. Smoking stuff with him, eventually passing it, I cannot remember much else.

Then I woke up.

i would have liked to stay in this dream. Woke up semi naked on the sofa, where I sometimes reside at night. Felt bad. Had Rollie. Felt bad. I went out to get supplies. At least I’m not drinking…man don’t let me drink Whisky. The Spirit Of Whisky. Hmmmmmmm………..I ranted for a while, watched cable and waited to go to rehab. For my hip, I’m not on heroin. Or have been. Unlike every single one of everyone I ever considered to be cool. Even so…only smart boys do without. Axl Rose lyric. I wish Guns would do a new album, cos you can’t tour old music forever. Speaking of heroin, they all did it. Izzy, Slash, Axl, Steve Adler, and Duff McKagan. All of them. Mr Brownstone was written at Izzy’s gf house, slash and Izzy complaining about being strung out all the time. Man… I wish they did that again. If Slash wasn’t high when he played the solo I’ll publicly sodomise a herring.

I CANT WATCH

Edited by Sir Patrick Barclay of the times
Who gets a hundred a year for writing about football.

I’m going to write about foootball.
After that I may get high
Then I’ll cry for a bit

Yeah

No, I’ll describe my day.

I woke up alone in a hospital room. I was faint with hunger and I was hooked up to an IV. My hands were covered in blood and it was 5 45 am. I wanted a cigarette and a shower but could have neither. My phone had 3 percent left and I realised that the nurse from a e last night had, in additional to cracking the screen on my I, actually gone as far as steal the charger, too. Fool! She didn’t clock the I pad charger, then. Does it charge up as fast as a genuine I? I don’t know! It’s like putting food in the oven as it heats up, before it has reached max heat. Do you do it? Yeah, you do…or not, cos I’m in hospital for a spell. So instead of consuming a solitary piece of chicken in 58 hours and not even sinking it, for my tea I shall all but feast on lentil soup, beef on white, mashed potato, rice, and a diabetic friendly ice cream.

Man…what happened? Anyway…I’m gonna sharpen up. Carmen is pissed off with me but still bought me the worlds best T-shirt from primark. I don’t want to live in North Walls, it’s haunted by the spirit of deceased horses, juvenile delinquents, porn stars, extra terrestrial game masters, intro terrestrial greenies pleased with Ferrari’s pace…they just really like Ferrari. I do too. But L Ham…a merc which looked basically like a mirror, like tin foil, reflecting the light….in a few years yeah, alongside the mandatory fifth wheel in the back, in the middle, between the two rears. The only problem is if the drivers can handle the whiplash! Ha! Fuck’em!

Later….

United are not going to win tonight. I have a sneaky feeling. I am confident. I mean be real. PSG beat them at Old Trafford convincingly. Are united stronger now? Barely if any. Ole has had a wank and Fergie thinks this could be anything. Neymar…M ‘Bappe…a Gallic Perfecri

Whip you silly
Endorsed by money
Endorsed by crack
Nicki give me the merc, smoke Hersch,
Money down shell gimme the tush
I’m death boy, death man
Just as well I’m not in a hospital
Death by disease, airbourne aids but cureable cancer
As I contemplate getting high off a chillum
Stun you with the stun gun, go stunting with my mum
Stab you or shoot you depends on how I feel
Shit is real, there’s gotta be someone I can kill
But I only respect you if I can’t kill you
But that’s not you
Motherfucker
I’m the most African
Can’t get u food but I can take the pain
Cos I can’t take the pain
Most of the bad shit is from mistakes made in the past
By me, maybe
Let me take the pain, baby
Then perhaps offer to smoke opium with me off a crude clay pipe
Opium for Africa, the healing type
Martyrdom for death boy, write the best riff ever written
Give satch hand strain,
When I had bad dreams of hell the only one who cared was Germain
If u love someone get them high
Yeah maybe a crystal bong, u ever smoke resin?
For starters it’s not for beginners, but that’s just………
Peace from death boy

Getting money from saying words
How absurd
I keep it surreal
And attempt to sell you pills
Caffeine leisure supplement thrills
Make you feel the need to kill
What do you expect, I’m addicted to death
I end things, I end things
Then puff low quality hashish through a semi decent pipe
Yeah that’s right
I must kill I must kill I must kill
That’s what it sounds like in my bean
Paying my cat to clean, that’s probably obscene
Warrants a fine from feline minds
Schizos maybe shouldn’t get a cat,
Like what’s a schizophrenic like?
Well what’s being human like?
What’s liking someone like?
Yeah like what’s liking like
I think that
Cos u just my type
Serial number similar, a futuristic robot 🤖 from a bygone era
Excelling in terror, the most notorious man in Winchester
Except for top tramp Ron
He’s not really gone
Gets free pasties for dropping wisdom
How could I look down on him
The way everyone did
Fuck this
That’s what we all are thinking
Deep down, do you even have any feeling?
I’m feeling I’m feeling shit, who invented the word feeling?
Me
Andy? I need a drummer.

Stupid, ugly flower

I must be a stupid, ugly flower
No one left to blame except a kitten and a moon
I cried twenty nine times before noon
Even woke up Springsteen, he cried in his dreams
Monday is a bad day, it always was
U get punished if u got high at the weekend
By some authority, hey, don’t punish me
Tuesday can be ok, used to stay up
Get paid, three outta four weeks
Bruce says I owe him twenty
Man…I ain’t got twenty
I bArely got one
Gotta get paid, says her fiancé
Pay me
Pay me
Wednesday is Odin day, I got the sword too
Septic schizo with a sword
That’s me
Where are you?
At home
Stupid fucking ugly flower
Couldn’t attract her
Crying circle ⭕️
I recently founded one
Bad people don’t cry themselves to sleep
Then cry at the thought of a new day
Masking my cowardice with blame and fate
Hey maybe he’s gay
A lady’s man
A ladyman
Play Electric Ladyland again, man
Got problems like Dirk Kuyt got work rate
Like Anderton got proneness to injury
Like everyone on tv got syrups
Do kittens have periods?
Kittentampon, a subsidiary of kittenstare
It’s not fair
This isn’t fair
If life’s not fair then it’s unfair
Oh, go, life.
Yeah that’s fucking great
No choice in life or death
No sense in either
◦ Born to die
Afterlife must be after death 💀
I bet the fuckin afterlife isn’t fair either
Woof

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww Fuck It!

Cig break

I wonder if I can say bomb.
Can anyone?
💣
Bomb.
Boooooommmmmbbbbb

Well u didn’t invent it, who did?
Duncan bomb I guess
Uhhhh mood swing
Uhhhh moon shit
Yeah I do blame the moon,too
I thought I did do
I want to bomb myself it’s true
Thats untrue what I wanna do
If you’re apricot I wanna be…April Mandelbrot
The last cries of a dying pigswan
A horsebee, ladybiscuit or serpent lion 🦁
I ain’t a ladyboy I’m a ladyman.
Fuck
Fuck

You said
My boyfriends shaft is thick and long
Do you want it in your ass
Gypsy

My response is this
Now hear this
And listen good, lady
Because here it comes…
I don’t know.

Just cuz u getting some and I’m not
There is no difference u right
So ur getting some, are right, and have the smallest nose ever
Oh….fucking…..go…..you!!!!

A summary of Tech+Game

Part One

The BBC B Microcomputer. 32k. 32. Yup. Man that’s not much….RAM. This isn’t much you say. Back in the day, pre internet, before the alignment of the Planets and harmony ruled once again, this was the latest tech. My Father, Dr Malcom Keith Francis, PHD, bagged one straight away at considerable to no expense.

The BBC, the British Broadcasting Corporation, unless I’m mistaken, unless it’s a weird acronym that meant something else. Electron was I believe the precursor, if you will, to the BBC, never saw the A.

Yet…….what did the BBC stand for?

anyway. Early adopting Daddy got it and it was the best thing ever. It had mad games. Snooker. PAC Man. Snake. Asteroids. Even a fledgling Football Manager, where it was the World Cup and you could be Czechoslovakia, if you wanted.